Sex Doll Video: Let’s Buy A Sex Doll

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Sex Doll Video: Let’s Buy A Sex Doll


Subtitles:

I’m not even gonna beat around the bush

here sex dolls are taking over for those

of you who don’t know what a sex doll is

buckle the [ __ ] up because we’re about

to dive in headfirst dick first YouTube

isn’t gonna pay me a dollar for this

video but that’s okay because you need

to know you need to know that every day

the Sun comes up there is a factory full

of scientists who are focusing all of

their time and energy and knowledge into

coming up with new ways of jerking off

they went to the best universities and

spent all this money on their education

and this is what they’re doing not a

cure for cancer not flying cars all

right it’s what can we what can we [ __ ]

what else can we [ __ ] because apparently

jerking off with your hand now is like

owning a VCR it’s like outdated ready

why are you doing that like people don’t

understand why you have an upgrade and

apparently the upgrade is these sex

dolls by the way these aren’t your

traditional blow-up dolls either it’s

not one of those things you blow up at a

bachelorette party like look Becky it’s

got a dick but no these are lifelike

they look like people I mean it’s not

exact you can still tell that it’s

plastic but they could definitely pass

as one of those women on one of those

Housewives shows like Real Housewives of

Topeka Kansas or whatever but when I say

they’re taking over I mean they’re

taking over

they have brothels set up in the UK

where you can pay $100 an hour and then

go into a room and just spend time with

one of these dolls brothels with dolls

in them you pay $100 an hour and then

you walk into the room and there’s just

a doll waiting on the bed like this and

you get to do whatever you want with

them for an hour am I the only one

concerned by this all I’m gonna say is

that hookers better be on their toes

this is disruptive to your industry this

is like when uber came out of nowhere

and then all the taxi services we’re

staying there with their dicks in their

hand like well what the [ __ ] do we do

now we can’t compete with this I don’t

know how they do it I really don’t I

wouldn’t be able to do it I you know I’m

not gonna say I would never have sex

with one of these dogs because you know

I mean you know you get drunk it’s

valentine’s day you got no plans things

happen you know what I mean but

seriously I don’t think I could do it

it’s too scary I mean first of all this

just sounds like a black mirror episode

a building with a bunch of rooms full of

dolls come on I’ve seen this episode

before but seriously it’s just it’s way

too scary I wouldn’t be able to do it

because I’m blindly putting my favorite

part of myself into something and who

knows what could be in there sure

they’re made for pleasure but you know

nothing this good will last forever

someone is going to ruin it right

there’s mercury in the fish there’s

anthrax in the mail and there’s sulfuric

acid in the doll vaginas and it’s

burning dicks off left and right that’s

not gonna happen to me I’m not gonna

take that chance

okay but before I make any more

judgements let’s check out some real sex

dolls and see what they’re like so I

typed sex dolls into Google and I found

this chick she costs $1,075 and 19 set

that’s a lot of money to invest in to

yank in it they actually have wholesale

prices too if you buy an extra one you

get some money off this is like [ __ ]

Costco you can choose the eye color and

the toenail color it’s down to the

toenail color

Jesus Christ I do like the green though

I do like the green there’s factory

photos what the [ __ ] is this this is so

creepy it’s like a supermarket aisle

full of faces this is like Game of

Thrones what it’s this and there’s one

customer review and all it says is okay

okay that’s it okay I mean if that’s the

review then we better keep looking all

right what the [ __ ] is this this is just

a poster of a robot in like a doggy

style position what the [ __ ] is hanging

this up on their wall

ultra realistic silicone mannequin now

we’re talking Oh what the [ __ ] is this

this isn’t realistic at all and we’re

she wearing [ __ ] shoulder pads what

is that who is this sex doll for this is

like if you want to [ __ ] a hot chick

who’s who also plays linebacker for the

Steelers we have it oh my god you know

I’m starting to think that maybe sex

styles just isn’t for me you know just

not for me I think I’m gonna stick to

the old-fashioned

women who are alive but anyway that is

all for this week’s video if you want to

purchase one of these sex dolls you can

use my promo code I’m just kidding can

you imagine this whole video was

sponsored by a sex doll company or some

[ __ ] that’d be great putting the promo

code Joey you get 20% off your [ __ ] doll

or whatever you know it could happen you

never know but anyway that is all for

this week’s video don’t forget to

subscribe to my podcast it’s called the

basement yard it comes out every Monday

and iTunes and SoundCloud and I will see

you next time

[Music]

[Music]

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