Listen to this articleSex Doll Video: Let’s Buy A Sex Doll
Subtitles:
I’m not even gonna beat around the bush
here sex dolls are taking over for those
of you who don’t know what a sex doll is
buckle the [ __ ] up because we’re about
to dive in headfirst dick first YouTube
isn’t gonna pay me a dollar for this
video but that’s okay because you need
to know you need to know that every day
the Sun comes up there is a factory full
of scientists who are focusing all of
their time and energy and knowledge into
coming up with new ways of jerking off
they went to the best universities and
spent all this money on their education
and this is what they’re doing not a
cure for cancer not flying cars all
right it’s what can we what can we [ __ ]
what else can we [ __ ] because apparently
jerking off with your hand now is like
owning a VCR it’s like outdated ready
why are you doing that like people don’t
understand why you have an upgrade and
apparently the upgrade is these sex
dolls by the way these aren’t your
traditional blow-up dolls either it’s
not one of those things you blow up at a
bachelorette party like look Becky it’s
got a dick but no these are lifelike
they look like people I mean it’s not
exact you can still tell that it’s
plastic but they could definitely pass
as one of those women on one of those
Housewives shows like Real Housewives of
Topeka Kansas or whatever but when I say
they’re taking over I mean they’re
taking over
they have brothels set up in the UK
where you can pay $100 an hour and then
go into a room and just spend time with
one of these dolls brothels with dolls
in them you pay $100 an hour and then
you walk into the room and there’s just
a doll waiting on the bed like this and
you get to do whatever you want with
them for an hour am I the only one
concerned by this all I’m gonna say is
that hookers better be on their toes
this is disruptive to your industry this
is like when uber came out of nowhere
and then all the taxi services we’re
staying there with their dicks in their
hand like well what the [ __ ] do we do
now we can’t compete with this I don’t
know how they do it I really don’t I
wouldn’t be able to do it I you know I’m
not gonna say I would never have sex
with one of these dogs because you know
I mean you know you get drunk it’s
valentine’s day you got no plans things
happen you know what I mean but
seriously I don’t think I could do it
it’s too scary I mean first of all this
just sounds like a black mirror episode
a building with a bunch of rooms full of
dolls come on I’ve seen this episode
before but seriously it’s just it’s way
too scary I wouldn’t be able to do it
because I’m blindly putting my favorite
part of myself into something and who
knows what could be in there sure
they’re made for pleasure but you know
nothing this good will last forever
someone is going to ruin it right
there’s mercury in the fish there’s
anthrax in the mail and there’s sulfuric
acid in the doll vaginas and it’s
burning dicks off left and right that’s
not gonna happen to me I’m not gonna
take that chance
okay but before I make any more
judgements let’s check out some real sex
dolls and see what they’re like so I
typed sex dolls into Google and I found
this chick she costs $1,075 and 19 set
that’s a lot of money to invest in to
yank in it they actually have wholesale
prices too if you buy an extra one you
get some money off this is like [ __ ]
Costco you can choose the eye color and
the toenail color it’s down to the
toenail color
Jesus Christ I do like the green though
I do like the green there’s factory
photos what the [ __ ] is this this is so
creepy it’s like a supermarket aisle
full of faces this is like Game of
Thrones what it’s this and there’s one
customer review and all it says is okay
okay that’s it okay I mean if that’s the
review then we better keep looking all
right what the [ __ ] is this this is just
a poster of a robot in like a doggy
style position what the [ __ ] is hanging
this up on their wall
ultra realistic silicone mannequin now
we’re talking Oh what the [ __ ] is this
this isn’t realistic at all and we’re
she wearing [ __ ] shoulder pads what
is that who is this sex doll for this is
like if you want to [ __ ] a hot chick
who’s who also plays linebacker for the
Steelers we have it oh my god you know
I’m starting to think that maybe sex
styles just isn’t for me you know just
not for me I think I’m gonna stick to
the old-fashioned
women who are alive but anyway that is
all for this week’s video if you want to
purchase one of these sex dolls you can
use my promo code I’m just kidding can
you imagine this whole video was
sponsored by a sex doll company or some
[ __ ] that’d be great putting the promo
code Joey you get 20% off your [ __ ] doll
or whatever you know it could happen you
never know but anyway that is all for
this week’s video don’t forget to
subscribe to my podcast it’s called the
basement yard it comes out every Monday
and iTunes and SoundCloud and I will see
you next time
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